Beyond looks, what truly matters in the gay community?
Will Nyasha Zichawo ’10
Vassar’s Eating Disorder Reachout Service (EDRS) recently screened the documentary Do I Look Fat: A Documentary on Gay Men, Body Image, and Eating Disorders. Profiling the lives of eight gay men, whose backgrounds and age ranges varied widely, the documentary dealt with issues of eating disorders and distorted body image, internalized homophobia, substance abuse, and the HIV/AIDS pandemic.
Having never have seriously considered how, as a gay male, image is an automatically integral part of my existence, this documentary made me realize how profound the focus on body image and appearance are in the gay community. The idealized form of male attractiveness is found frequently in depictions of gay men in popular culture, including pornography, fashion and gay-centric magazines. This prototypical gay may is either the über-thin, toned guy or the hyper-muscled, gym frequenting guy; there is no middle ground. Holding onto these physical forms as paramount forces gay men to cheat ourselves by not appreciating our natural body forms which may, for all intents and purposes, suit us best and actually make us genuinely sexy, as opposed to what the latest heavily edited cover of Out Magazine portrays as being desirable.
This is not meant to disparage men who care for their health and fitness by eating properly and working out; I simply take issue with the obsession with looking ‘good’ (i.e thin) that then leads to eating disorders and low self-esteem, even leading to promiscuity and sexually transmitted diseases. I would like to think there is more to life than starving oneself, abusing substances, or obsessing over how our bodies are acceptable to the gay community or to society in general. In Do I Look Fat, a psychologist marveled at how he had never encountered a gay male who was entirely satisfied with his body; there was always more weight to be lost or more muscle to be gained, all in pursuit of an elusive goal that is both unrealistic in its depiction and unfulfilling in its attainment.
So what’s the alternative, inquiring minds may ask. How about not measuring our worth as gay men and women by how many pounds we lose or gain or who we take to our room at night, but by applying our intellects and emotions to truly go beyond the superficial and explore what really makes us happy—to consider what matters versus what does not. Having the faculties of mind and the privilege, especially here at Vassar, to be fully out and unafraid of what some homophobe might do to you with a baseball bat on the street corner, it is imperative for us to use this opportunity to go beyond just merely existing.
Sure, these issues of body image are found in the heterosexual world as well, though in different manifestations. However, we find ourselves at a crossroad, with a world increasingly open to acceptance of homosexuality pitted against an older generation of policymakers who seek to restrict our rights in any way they can. What will our response be? To fight for equal rights and recognition or a continued myopic preoccupation with body “improvement” that, in the end, is trivial and unfulfilling?